Kickstarters – I like the tshirts

So I’ve backed a couple kickstarters recently and I feel good about them and I believe I am not wrong in saying Kickstarter is one of the greatest things on the internet EVER, fuck your facebook and twitter and all that other garbage !except! as the necessary path for us to get to the realization of kickstarter.

T-shirts.  One was for Atomic Robo and literally it was ONLY for the Tshirt and because the character design is cool.  I had forgotten even what the kickstarter was for but shiiit the tshirt looks cool.  I also thought it was a kickstarter for the new Evil Hat RPG based on Atomic Robo, but that was wrong, but it is still a cool shirt.   I got a pretty good one from the Bulldogs kickstarter, but it should have had an Urseminite on there!  Doesn’t matter much because the Bulldogs kickstarter is probably the one donation I feel like I should have backed MORE because it’s a great little game despite the art. I may get burned in the future on kickstarters, but I can always look back at Bulldogs as the one that totally shined.

So there it is: t-shirts sell me on kickstarters that I may not care about game-wise.  If you have a cool T-shirt and you have some semblance of a good idea for a game thingy (other kickstarter stuff that’s non-game–who the fuck cares?), then you probably got me right there at the 15-25$ level.

Maat in China

Maaaat is in China.  I think HE thinks he’s sending a lot of pictures but there have been very few so far.   I was waiting for a deluge of them, but it has not come.  He was in Shanghai then went up the Yangtze and saw the clay soldiers and the Great Wall, but all I’ve gotten for pics so far are somewhat hazy.  Cool but these could be in Maine or actually, the Dells for all that they are discernible.

Cabin in the Woods!

Absolutely worth seeing.  I can’t say a ton without spoiling quite a bit of it, but even those not a fan of the ‘teens in the woods having sex and being killed by stuff’ genre (Cabin Fever, Evil Dead, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc) will appreciate it.  Like Inglorious Basterds, Cabin in the Woods is both an homage and a genre deconstructionist piece where one can no longer look at the other films in the genre the same way again.  The climax of the film is just so well done, it’s worth paying the price of admission just for that.    What’s more, the writers aren’t trying to hide anything– in fact you can pretty much figure out what the twists in the film are in the opening credits.  Watching it play out, especially in scenes where the viewer knows what’s going to happen even though the characters do not, is pure joy.  In some parts, all I could think about was Alan Moore’s crazy homage pastiches from Marshall Law and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

However, in the teens finger fuck in a remote area then die genre usually has some stupid characters– in fact it doesn’t work without some stupid ones– Cabin in the Woods contains characters that are all very smart and thinking almost all the time.  When you see the film you will think to your self: “why didn’t they use IDIOTS instead?”

Zomboobies

A genre so tired and worn out, like a pair of old shoes and yet, sometimes films with zombies still tempt us to watch them.  Boobs help, but can they carry something like this that looks, dare I say, SUB TROMA?

Anarchy Reigns: Bayonetta!

Platiunum games was being very coy not announcing that Bayonetta was in the upcoming punching game Anarchy Reigns, but they finally let the sexy cat out of the bag which means I get to make a post with a bunch of pictures of Bayonetta and her booty.  I think you’ll agree this is a good thing.  Like I said, this is going to be a SLEEPER hit if it’s anything like the amazing and astounding Urban Reign for the PS2.  People won’t buy this until a year or so after release when all the copies go for 100$ or more, so get it right away when it comes out and you can see THAT ASS!

smooth!

As an aside: I did throw down some (albeit single player) Urban Reign last night, Anarchy Reigns spiritual successor and it is still one of the best PS2 games there is.   If you have a PS2 sitting around and want to find a use for it for a few weeks, Urban Reign is where it’s at.

Kingdoms of Amalur: The Same’maning


I LIKED the demo. I bought the game. The demo SOLD me on the game. I especially enjoyed the combat. The fighting felt solid and fluid. I had control of the action and it mattered that I timed my blocks, dodges and attacks. I was playing Skyrim at the same time and was amazed at how much better the combat felt in Amalur. The skill choices in Amalur are spread out over three main character types. These skill trees seemed cool and interesting in the demo. The game let you spread your skill points over the three skill trees, never locking you into any particular path (this is the first problem and you’ll find that out much later). So as I said, I LIKED the demo. That is where I should have stopped myself I think.

Insert EA rant: People this is a EA game. FUCK YOU EA. I can safely say I will not buy another EA game ever. When I pay 60 dollars for a game I don’t want to be reminded about DLC EVERY FUCKING TIME I START THE FUCKING GAME EA! I don’t want to see that fucking STAR by the Downloads menu item in the main menu for the game EVERY FUCKING TIME I PLAY! YES I SEE EA THAT YOU WANT ME TO SPEND MORE FUCKING MONEY! YES I SEE EA AND NO I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING BUY ANYMORE EA SPACEPISS! EA GET THAT GOD DAMNED STAR OFF MY SCREEN YOU FUCKING COPORATE FUCKASSES!

So here’s how Amalass plays. You’ll play the game for about 3-4hrs and more or less at this point you done EVERYTHING in the game. From this point on you’ll be playing a rehashing of more or less the same enemies, quests and find similar loot for the next however many hours you choose to spend playing. AND YOU CAN SPEND A SHIT TON OF HOURS PLAYING THE SAME SHIT OVER AND OVER. I was maybe 20hrs in when I finally stopped with the non-main quest shit and just powered right through the main quest in 6hrs. I didn’t need to level up anymore and the game was fucking so gawd damned easy on normal. I just got to a point in the game where I was fucking bored and upset with how generic and shitty everything was feeling and said, “Okay, how about now I just win this shitty game.” And so I did, I followed only the main quests, running from yellow circle objective marker to yellow circle objective marker, skipping all the useless dialogue, fighting the same fights over and over and won.

Yes you get more skills on your way to the fucking boring ending but the new skills don’t do anything that great! I got a crowd control skill that I had to use over and over as a melee fighter. Unlocking shit skills that have to be used is a GAY! Where is my choice now? I level up and if I don’t use these new skills I lose. Fucking dumb. AND if I do use them I win instantly. The game is balanced in this strangely perfect way, when you are doing the “right” thing the game is insanely easy and quickly becomes boring after your 10-12th victorious battle.

OH ya I tried to play a fight/thief character, it FAILED. Once I respected and put all my skill points into the fighter tree I instantly became 100% more deadly. ? Why the fuck let me break my character by spec’ing into two or SHIT three trees at once? Is that some way of making the game cooler? Here gamer, put points into any tree you want. If you happen to use only one tree, BINGO you’re good! If you experiment with using multiple trees, FUCK YOU, you’ll hopefully get around to respec’ing into one tree only and quickly see HOW FUCKING WRONG YOU WERE!

The game is worth 10$ tops! Normal people will play 4-6 hours and stop cuz that is all the fun there is in the game. Shitty buffet trough feed americans will play all the fucking way through and buy all the DLC and want more. This game is the mount everest of mediocrity and I climbed all the way to the fucking top and took a GIANT piss on the dead diabetes ridden gamer corpses that littered the peak.

All that said I did craft a fucking KICKASS great sword that did 50+ more damage than anything I found in the game, so that was cool. The crafting system was cool. The fighting system is cool for 4-6hrs. The animations/enemies are very Todd McFrainer or whom ever the fuck that comic guy is. The world art is okay, very wow’ish but it’s fine. I can’t help but think a great number of people wasted a HUGE amount of time making this incredibly so so game.

4 player D3 Beta Hardcore run

I have to spoil it for everyone– no one died!  For sure after this night there’s no possible way to deny the power D3 will wield over peoples across the lands; there are some confusing design choices (noted in the video again and again) but overall: fantastic.  24:26 pretty much sums up my emotions around the beta.