Uhhh– EA did you just make me tweet HOLY SHIT?

>>UPDATE!  – this was a scam!  <<  Don’t click on any twitter links to beta stuff–the only way to get it is to sign in to origin and look at the free games section.

I rarely log in to twitter, but this morning I did only to find a tweet on my wall or whatever the hell it’s called that approximated to: “Holy Shit, I just got my Battlefield 3 beta code. better get them while they last….”  of course I don’t have a Battlefield 3 beta code so this is even more ridiculous.  Of course some sites post stuff for you but this is a not a slight bit shitty because 1) I don’t have a BF3 code so I don’t know where that came from  2) it says, and I joke not, HOLY SHIT as the first piece of text in the tweet.   This EA BF launch is turning out to be very, very strange.

From the wave – September

Rumors of google wave’s demise have been greatly exaggerated.

Vladmir Putin: ACTION MAN.

One meme that should never die.  Halt’ den Ball flach, Alter! 

Best Buy ad from 1996  – this has some crazy crap.  PSX and Genesis– but no Saturn stuff!?

Bowie’s Space Oddity as a children’s book.

Amazing shot of the alien from Alien chilling out on the set (note this has the faceplate off so you can see the skull beneath–not shown much in the film itself).

AirMech-  a Herzog Zwei remake

The real Guardian Heroes release date.

Octobeerfest!

this was not taken in Milwaukee this year.

So I got about as loaded as possible without puking or being hung over (?!) at Octoberfest Saturday. I was so drunk I told my three year old to “wait here” on the crowded dance floor while I went to take the piss. Of course she had no idea what was going on. Ridiculously stupid.  While a big event, I wonder why this isn’t bigger in Milwaukee: like the big one, the capstone to all the festivals had over the course of the summer, the blowout! Like many cities in Germany, Milwaukee could be THE Octoberfest destination for the entire midwest region of the country. We already have the big festival grounds, the relatively nice downtown (though crime-ridden), old world third street, and what’s most important–many many Germans!  It’s sad that podunkville La Crosse (while beautiful) is more known for Octoberfest than Milwaukee is– it has just as crime-ridden of a downtown as Milwaukee does these days.

Of the Beers, the Lakefront Brewery Octoberfest brew was by far the best of the few that I had (you can’t get a sampling when you are drinking a stein at a time). While I enjoy too much the Franizkaner, I should have been drinking the Lakefront stuff the whole night. I would have loved to have had New Glarus’s staghorn in a big stein as well, but they weren’t around.

The Clutch Brew

I got a chance to try the new brew from Clutch this week during some raucous games of King of Tokyo and it was pretty good– not a sessionable beer by any stretch of the imagination, but that’s really not what microbrews of this sort are.   It’s dubbed a sour coffee stout and just that claim is eyebrow-raising in of itself.  I think if the sour came through strong first, it would ruin the experience, but somehow a mellow stout starts it off, and then a blast of coffee– after you get a sour Franzizkaner-like finish.  Overall, a very interesting brew, but I’m not a fan of coffee, so would love to try this without it.  I’m not sure I could do a whole bottle (they’re pretty big) but a pint will go down well.   The bottle itself is gorgeous.  Time will tell if this is a series or a solid one off.

 

DC’s new 52

Yeah, I’m a weak person.  I broke down under the hype (and phone calls from MATT) and picked up a few issues of DC’s re-numbering of their popular titles (some had gotten into the 700’s so it was about time).  I was skeptical because, like a lot of people, I remember the awful Marvel New Universe.  So DC put out a new Batman N0. 1, Action Comics N0. 1, Justice League, etc.   With the exception of Swamp Thing, back in the day I discounted DC’s stuff during the heyday of Xmen (mid 80’s but before the X-splintering into so many titles it was impossible to collect or follow).  When ROM ended (shittily I might add), I picked up a Batman here and there and it was ALWAYS good, in addition, I got into the Justice League International madness when that was going through a really awesome period of writing and art.   With the normal Justice League, you knew they were going to just kick everyone’s ass once they got through the curtain of bullshit surrounding an enemy or problem, they had Superman after all.  With JLI, typically their ineptitude and lack of communication was a huge part of the curtain of bullshit between them and the real enemy.  What’s more, they were typically totally outmatched by their opponents (with the exception of times when Guy Gardner was around) once they actually found out where and who they were.   Anyway, it had a good run, and the new 52 one was meh.  The Batman one I got was good but extremely grotesque, I can’t leave that around for the kiddos to see.  Still sort of meh.

At the counter there was a free mag going through all the comics in the new 52 and though I feel a bit blase on the first couple, there are a few in the list that look like winners.   First off is Justice League Dark– dealing with spellcasters  (of course Zatanna is all up in there) and the like (John Constantine from Swamp Thing for example).  The cover is just gorgeousity itself so that’s a must buy.  Second is a title that I think is totally new: Red Hood and the Outlaws.  It looks very Image-esque (which is good for the art, but bad for the writing) and is in fact penned by a guy that worked on WildC.A.T.S.  Last is, and this is really showing my personal weakness, the oft-cheesy (especially back in the day) Legion of Superheroes.  While I’m aware of it’s cheese potential, I think this is the closest thing in print to the Alien Legion, so yeah, that’s my excuse.

There’s a bunch I’m on the fence about: Suicide Squad, a new Jonah Hex title, Animal Man (awesome cover there) and Batgirl (yes–batgirl) that I’m going to have to page through to see if their up to snuff before buying.  I know people are huge fans of Justice League, but I’m not one of them.  While FAR better than Marvel’s Avengers as a team, when you have a character involved that could punch the planet out of orbit, it just loses it for me.

Perusing the comic shop: what on earth happened to the fantastic four?  Spiderman?  White suits?  No Johnny Storm?  Well if any series needed a change, this was one (the Avengers can’t be made right so they shouldn’t even try).

breathing out the mouth

Chumpo:
ya this guy does a complete playthrough, good quality, http://www.youtube.com/user/Nastydude1989#p/u/21/enVA_WZkZcw
Me:
of the whole beta? that doesn’t go too far right?
Chumpo:
ya it’s like 1/2 or 1/3 or 1/4 of act1. the guy playing isn’t using any skills, just normal attack… failure
Me:
ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz….
Chumpo:
WHY IS HE IN BETA!
Me:
family man family with someone there or a press person…
Chumpo:
they are dumbasses, you and i need to be in talking CRANKSMACK.
Chumpo:
shit you can hear him MOUTH BREATHING!!!!!!!!! fucking terrible.
Brian:
file
Me:
i’m just not going to watch. i don’t want to make the association. During the game MONTHS from now I will remember some part that I get to and remember THAT GUY MOUTH BREATHING into the mic like a fat fuck that he is and it will ruin that small part of the game. I can’t take a chance that that will happen.

Let’s talk REX and space kitties

RELEASE THE (space) KITTIES!

I wanted to wait until the official announcement of Rex by Fantasy Flight before I went on my tirade about it. I saw the box at gencon on display and knew exactly what it was: the inevitable FF Dune game.

Rex inherits the mechanics of one of the absolute jewels of my collection, one that got oodles of plays before the boardgame fanaticism that has stretched far and wide across the world in the last decade set in; and that would be DUNE.  Dune is essentially an area control game with armies fighting on the surface of the desert planet Arrakis for control of a life-lengthening psychotropic substance called the Spice. To win you have to control 3 city spaces at the end of the turn.  This ain’t easy as armies can drop from space, fly across the planet in Ornithopters or ride a worm into your town from all over.  While it incorporates economics and politics, Dune is unique in area control games as it utilizes a blind bid mechanic during battles using a cardboard dial with which a player selects the number of armies he wants to use in the battle (all used armies are destroyed) and selects a leader from those available to his faction.  Adding together the leader’s generalship rating and the number of units used gives a total that is compared to the opponent’s.  Highest wins.  Best about this is that it is very simple and very fast while ultimately capturing the soul of the conflicts in Dune.  The mechanic is a bit like Cosmic Encounter where you reveal attack cards but with the additional complexity of the leaders and treachery cards that can be played (also blind) to kill off that leader, discounting his generalship rating from the battle.  Since any unit you use in the battle is destroyed (the leaders can only be killed via treachery cards) you have to weigh sacrificing units to keep control of the area you are in or go for broke and us all your units (guaranteeing that you will lose control of the area even if you win the battle).   Dune is harsh: unlike Cosmic Encounter, there are no negotiate cards; yet alliances are a huge part of the game as you can win together, which happens most games as blocks of factions band together against the initial threats (usually the Harkonnen as they have to make a bid for the win early on).

Dune is a game I hold in the absolute highest esteem as an asymmetrical strategy game.  Each of the factions has glaring weaknesses and clearly defined strengths.  Those that have the best chance of winning alone also have the greatest chance of being wiped off the face of the planet (Atreides and Harkonnen) and some have a very difficult road to victory without allies but are tough to shake out of a chance for victory completely.  It captures the feel of the conflict from the first book brilliantly as well.  If you know the book, you know how to play the faction you’ve selected even without reading the rules.

Yet, I like Dune so much I am extremely hesitant to bring it out to play.  My set is getting old (I have the second printing with Sting on the front) and some of the components are showing some real serious wear.  Had we played this as much as I would like, a lot of the pieces would be scrap paper by now.  And that’s where Fantasy Flight comes in.  Since they have generally good taste in bringing old games back into the bright modern world, it was inevitable that they set their sights on Dune, especially after the success of Cosmic Encounter (‘absolute triumph’ is another phrase I would use in regards to FF’s version). So the ideal for a fan of the game is a shiny new Dune game with Fantasy Flight’s excellent components and tough-as-nails cards, etc.  Sadly this wasn’t to be since the Herbert estate have become knobshines, the Dune license was not granted to remake the game using the Baron and Soo Soo Sook, etc.  Unfortunate, but thems the breaks.  The mechanics, of course, could be used by anyone to make a game (and should be) but what should the theme be if not Dune?  My take, and this is where the disappointment comes in: any theme would work EXCEPT some other science fiction IP.  You see, Dune is near the top of sci-fi’s heap as a piece of literature (that still has some pulp appeal), you have warring space factions, space ships, alien-like things (though the only race in Dune are humans and it’s far more compelling to try to figure out the HOW around the changed humans than presenting some Kzin clone), energy shields, etc. but you also have socio-political ideologies from the period (50’s and 60’s) clashing and an overall (almost implied) mimetic with the conflicts in the middle east over control of oil.  Because Dune has such a strong narrative and definitive place in sci-fi’s role as a medium for political commentary, and it’s followers have such strong feelings around it ‘s canon (read some of the castigation heaped upon the hack, non-Frank Herbert novels that came later), any sci-fi put side by side with Dune, which Twilight Imperium has done via Rex, will inevitably be slapped up against, quite unfavorably, with the original theme.  Compared to Dune, the jokeshop backstory to Twilight Imperium with it’s space cats and turtles and entirely derivative plotlines borrowed from yet another game’s backstory (Master of Orion 2) is simply a cascade of space piss into your open mouth.  While this is acceptable for a massive space-Risk ameritrash game where players have no expectation of a quality backstory and trite tropes, like space kitties, left and right are not only expected, but absolutely warranted,  just doesn’t do justice to the original game on any level.

That said, this comparison would not be made so brutally if the choice for theme was something fantasy or historical.  No one would compare Rex to Dune on the same level if Rex’s theme was the 30-years war (Wallenstein, Gustavus Adolphus and all those guys), War of the Roses or even Game of Thrones (which is sort of the same thing).  Looking at other IP in FF’s stable, even DUST would have been better, especially since the game’s backstory at least has a desert in it.  Apparently, the original game using the Dune mechanics was a Roman one titled Tribune: who could complain about that.  Oh, people would lament a bit, but they would be enamored with Scipio Africanus or Sulla a hell of a lot quicker than a space turtle or a cat with an eye patch.

All the complaining aside, I am glad this system is getting back into print and may be augmented by FF’s and the original design team.  There may be mechanical updates that can be pulled back into the Dune system, either to streamline it or make it better.  Again, since Dune is one of the best games of it ilk out there, Rex, by default, will be too.  If you have no access to Dune, or like me, you want to save it from too many plays, it will warrant a purchase.

Bottom line is, if you actually enjoy, for some reason known only to yourself, the Twilight Imperium back story you will be well pleased with Rex as it will be the first time since Twilight Imperium 2nd edition that the TI universe has had a GOOD gaming system to play in.  If you are a fan of the Dune board game, this is a tough pill to swallow, especially with the added slap in the face that SPACE KITTIES are the main identifier for the Twilight Imperium brand (rather than some of the less-cheesecurd aliens like the Sardak Nor, etc.).  Maybe there will be enough space-race choices to leave the kitties in their space litter box.

King of Dragon Pass for iOS tomorrow

Tomorrow is the big day for King of Dragon Pass.   It’s pricey for an iOS app at 10$ but it’s definitely not in newly-risen genre of megaswarm of crap iOS games.  If you have an i device and like strategy games at all, this is an absolute gem.  I don’t have a device that will run it yet, but soon…

However, it’s not an easy game to be successful at so here are some tips.  Granted, I played this game only twice (about 70 hours of play) and didn’t win the first time through.

  • Pick a balanced clan.  I went all war the first time through and yes you can clear out other clans, but then they hate you forever.  One thing to note is that you can crush other clans into the ground, but they never disappear completely (at least when I played).  They just move far far away.  You will get plenty of chances to fight.
  • Clan circle selection is key.  Make sure you have a circle that hits gods that will help you with everything a little bit rather than over focusing.  Humakt is probably the one I would leave off at first (though having someone on the circle devoted to him is good when you are out to kick some ass).
  • Don’t try to get too big.  Your Tula can only hold so many people and there is a balance between cramming every single building filled with people (which leads to problems) and not having enough people (which leads to problems).  This is a tough balance to hit.
  • Be patient with the rituals.  Rituals are a key element of the game, but they can be confusing and sometimes frustrating to complete.  There are a lot of factors that go into a successful ritual and if the clan member going in isn’t too good at what he needs to be or follows the wrong gods, he’s not the right choice.  This can be tough to suss out.