night 2: excitement failure

sigourney3no man’s sky is a bad game. after 2 more hours of play for a total of 5 hours there is jack shit going on. the procedural nature of all the planets means they are all more the same than different. i can already feel the desire to quit this game. (though there is a small voice saying play some more because you may find some new shit)

the game is becoming more and more boring exponentially. if the first couple of hours of play could be BUILT upon no man’s sky would be a HIT, instead it almost immediate becomes repetitive and dull as shitcake.

this game is going to have to pull off a miracle to not be considered a complete and utter failure.

i could talk in deal about all the shitty stuff in the game(combat, resource management, doing the same search and find shit over and over) but you can just search youtube for reviews and there are plenty of them that talk about how the game is shite.

i’m not going to report anymore on no man’s sky. it’s not worth playing or talking about. there are 1000’s of other games that are carefully crafted experiences which are worth everyone’s time.

hello games, never again will i purchase your shit.

NMS Night 1: Impossible Expectations

no man’s sky on PS4 has no install. wtf. no install. after playing so many games on ps4 and getting used to a 10-15min install process, NMS has no install. that was the first signal that there was no MEAT in NMS. SURE the game is procedural so you’d expect the game to be lean, but ZERO install? red flag. a 1GB patch did install, so i’m gaming on v1.03 of NMS. there was no manual in the game case. fuckthat for 60$ plus tax i want a unless manual! hello games is making hand over fist moneyhats i guess. i mean 10 people studio, sounds like they stayed independant, didn’t take dev money from SONY, so like let’s say hello games is getting like 20$ per copy sold for NMS. i bet they sold at least 500k copies, which is like 10 million bucks. or a million a person for 3+ years work on the low side. what does that matter? if you charge full price for  game you need to give the player full price trimmings. this is what will come out in the press and with fans over and over, is NMS worth the full $60 price. after 3 hours last night i’d say for most players NMS is overpriced.

IMG_2966it’s a survival/exploration game. that should be said by the developer over and fucking over. that is what the game is. there are other games that do the same thing but don’t hide behind the whole “infinite universe” shit. from 3 hours of play i’m already seeing how in this “infinite” sandbox the similarities between locations (planets/moons) will be rather HIGH. that is disappointing if not expected. their procedural content generation technique is NOT designed new types of basic animal locomotion for example, no it is just using basic models like two-legged creature, four-legged creature, ooooh and yep you guessed it six-legged creature.  and these creatures, what the fuck do they do, NOTHING. shit they don’t eat, shit, attach each other, mate, etc. they just are there, 3-4 at at time as background. ya sometimes they are hostile to you and you have to beat them back which feels like SHIT. the FPS combat on planets feels like shit and then you are shooting some little crab thing and it feels like stupid shit. you’ll never see TRULY fantastics creatures, like that monster from The Thing, Falor from The Neverending Story, Alien(s) from the Alien series, etc. the devs didn’t have the resources to create really fantastical types of creatures, nor the time / processing power to properly animate them and breath life into them with interesting AI. OF COURSE I’VE ONLY PLAYED 3 HOURS SO WTF DO I KNOW BUT THIS IS MY BOLD PREDICKTION. the creatures in the game will be super fucking boring and hollow.

IMG_2967survival from the very start! little to no tutorial showing what you should try to do. this is a strength because you a freaked out about how to even survive right out the gate. i have not died yet, but many people have immediately and talked about that experience online. that is excellent.

no one told me that killing plants/animals was “bad” with some shitty little tutorial messages. you find out that when you kill shit causing omnipresent sentinels to come and investigate with little scanner bots, if you keep killing shit while sentinels scanner bots are watching you, the bots start attacking thus a cycle of escalation like getting stars in grand theft auto begins. okay that is fine and works to add more consequence to your actions. you can’t just fucking kill everything you see without getting fucked by the the robot guys. okay fine. you find that out yourself while playing. perfect.

far as i could tell right away are tasked with repairing your ship, which requires collecting elements(iron, plutonium etc). you can mine shit with laser gun omnitool thing. that is fine. you can send out a scan pulse to find the shit you can mine. okay that is fine. the graphics of the planet you start on feel okay, they feel kinda low budget/procedural in nature.

SOUND, very meh. the music is okay but nothing in the ambient sounds of the planet i was on made it seem very alien.

the weather was clear and cold i think. you have to manage a resource which is your spacesuits power to shield you from either extreme cold or extreme heat. if the environment shield goes to zero, you start taking damage i imagine. i never let it go all the way down to find out though. charging your heat/cold shield takes the yellow elements.

TAKING DAMAGE. yes you take damage from being attacked and also just walking around over time, and you fix that game by consuming RED resources, which are elements like Carbon which you get by mining planets or killing animals. BUT you can also use a element like plutonium to heal yourself i think because it is red. i think, can’t really remember but there seems to be some leeway in what you can use to “heal” your character guy.

IMG_2968i think there is a combat shield or something, but i’m not sure really. something that sops up the first couple hits before they start doing real damage, but i’m not sure because there wasn’t a tutorial to explain and the game comes with no fucking manual.

you can’t just press one button on the controller to heal, you have to open a menu, click on which thing to repair(heal), which opens another menu and choose which element/item you are going to use. this is difficult to do when you are running away from something or being attacked as you still stop dead in your tracks to process this action. THAT IS FINE it adds tension and causes you to make sure your shit is fixed up nice before you try to explore something that might be dangerous.

IMG_2965you can name stuff you discover. other players will someday share the joy when they visit worlds you’ve pissed all over with words.

 

No Man’s Sky: TITS or GTFO

gaymers everywhere have wanted the top to come off No Man’s Sky ever since the game was teased back in 2013 at the VGX extended night of game commercials and press jacking off ‘awards’. a PERFECT tease. have you experienced a perfect tease before? something that gets your cock/clit hard as steel? that feeling of INTENSE anticipation? YEP that feeling is what happened all the fucking way back in 2013 for me and many other gamers for No Man’s Sky. fuck i bought a PS4 because for a time it was suggested that Sony had scooped up NMS as a exclusive for the console, though originally it was going to be PC, or some shit but then it was going to be PS4 first then at some later time PC, fuckitall now it’s on PS4 3 days before the PC release. i digress, NMS launches TOFUCKINGMORROW.

spacebabe7okay, you don’t give 3 fucks about NMS because as you keep telling everyone, based on the trailers of the game you’ve seen NMS looks like a fucking boring gayme. that’s fine, stick to your CoD or macho Dark Souls masturbations, you’re not part of the target audience. trolling rock hard NMS fans is easy as slapping a child for making too much direct eye contact with the disabled.

spacebabe3NMS does not appear to be the work of jesus or peter molonyx. thankfully on the later. the devs of NMS have offered details about the game in a mostly restrained fashion, never over promising about the reality of what you can do in the game. the devs have hinted at things without spoiling what could prove to be a fun learn as you go exploration situation. the devs of NMS hinted that the game world of NMS is large (procedural generated galaxy or universe) but never did they say horse shit crazy stuff like pete molonyx is notorious for(and always failing to deliver). thank you devs of NMS, i think you should be honored for not overhyping your product. the fans are doing all that shit for you as they will/should.

spacebabe5a “big” game made by like 12 or so people, hyped to the MOON by fans. NMS releases tomorrow and i will give some daily reports on what the game is like. i will let you know from my hands on impressions from playing 2-3 hours night, how a middle aged married man with child plays games.

spacebabe2OH, fuck i almost forgot, the devs to my knowledge have said ZERO about DLC for No Man’s Sky. how? is it because they will offer that shit at a later date? the devs have said they plan on bringing more content and features, though they said it in a way so that one thinks it will be at no additional cost. hurray for that if that turns out to be the case. perhaps Sony will be paying them to keep players buying PS4s to play the game. who knows. a game coming out in today’s DLC assraping market which has no day one DLC announcements is a fucking winner.

spacebabe6don’t think you can customize the sex of your character in the No Man’s Sky. shit. who knows for sure.

Summer Vacation 2016

I spent part of the day looking for BLACK PAINT.  The GW store was closed, and none of the other gaming stores had it in stock. I’m not even looking for Vallejo game color here and even would have settled for P3 black which I’m sketchy about until I’ve tried it.  There was no black paint anywhere at all.  I guess there was some new game out and people in the area are painting.  A LOT.  I should have called first right? Fuck…

I had four Legends of the Old west guys to finish up and I almost did until my Vallejo BUFF exploded (my fault, as I squeezed the tube too hard) across the backs of two of them.  No terrible damage, but they had to be rinsed off with water which ruined the sand/PVA glue bases and touched up.   It was one of those moments that I’ve had before where you just want to throw in the towel and quit painting for a time, but unfortunately this can last YEARS.   I pushed through and the other two are done and the splatted cowboys are all touched up just waiting for the bases to be finished.   I dropped a miniature and chipped the paint a few years back and quit painting for a year or so after that.  Fixing would have taken about 30 minutes of work, but I was EMOTIONALLY MAIMED from frustration and couldn’t bear to do it.  I won’t let that happen again.

Summer2016-2

Otherwise it’s been a weekend of children birthday party with today the first day I can do stuff.   I played a lot of Mount and Blade: Warbands and must say, that is an addicting game.  While I like the campaign and collecting guys, I really enjoy riding around with my massive meat cleaver — cleaving.    This is why I can’t get into FIRE AND SWORD because it has guns and you just can’t do that… cleaving …any more.   I took my first castle with my new guy today, so that’s progress.

I’ve got two more days left of vacation before it’s over (effectively due to a camping trip) so we’ll see what sort of painting I can get done.  It sorta sucks to be off when no one else is off, but them’s the breaks.

Otherwise I’ve been working on a design for a miniature focused RPG. Sounds insane? Maybe.   It’s something I’ll experiment with probably on Roll20 for a bit before posting about it more.  The core thing is it will strip down the stat line compared to all but the most OSR-based games and the fights will be unapologetically for many, many miniatures.

 

When is the point where we should destroy all thinking machines?

Recently an AI created by Google beat a top player at Go. This AI is scheduled to play against THE top player in the world right now in March. Chess, with it’s closed puzzle-like gameplay has been solved by computers who can never be beaten by a human player again, which is understandable since the game is so limited in scope. Go is different since it’s such a wide open, piece-free board with such an incredible number of possible, good, fairly good and very good moves, that computers couldn’t crunch puzzle their way out of it– there were too many lines of play based on a single placement of a stone to figure out. Humans can do it because of fuzzy logic, and just knowing where a fairly good place is to play as well has having a general plan of what they want to do.  The AI doesn’t crunch all lines, it learns how to play like a person does.

So, I think this March may be a marker in human evolution where we may in the future say: “The day Lee Sedol lost to an AI in Go is the day we should have destroyed all thinking machines across the planet and slaughtered every Google employee down to their families and even internet acquaintances just to make sure, because after that, it was too late.”

Just sayin’.

From Samuel Butler’s Erewhon, Chapter 9,

“… about four hundred years previously, the state of mechanical knowledge was far beyond our own, and was advancing with prodigious rapidity, until one of the most learned professors of hypothetics wrote an extraordinary book (from which I propose to give extracts later on), proving that the machines were ultimately destined to supplant the race of man, and to become instinct with a vitality as different from, and superior to, that of animals, as animal to vegetable life. So convincing was his reasoning, or unreasoning, to this effect, that he carried the country with him and they made a clean sweep of all machinery that had not been in use for more than two hundred and seventy-one years (which period was arrived at after a series of compromises), and strictly forbade all further improvements and inventions”

The New Star Wars just Came Out

No, not the movie, the DICE powered Battlefield style game just entered OPEN beta.  Maurice!Bastard is currently playing and I’ve started the download sequence.  I will fire up FRAPS and take some videos as soon as I can and then post them.   I really loved BF2042, Battlefield Bad Company 2 and Battlefield 3.  BF4 came out too soon after 3, so I never tried that and was hoping they would come out with a new BF2142– well, with the Star Wars license, this is going to be as close as we get in spirit to 2142 with walkers and shit like that.

Despite the fact that I have grown to hate the Star Wars hype and due to those terrible movies, the brand itself in some ways, I’m all in.  PEW FUCKING PEW PEW!

starredwardes

Two UNFUCKED Kickstarters

Last week I posted about my fucked kickstarters— ones that got funded but have not delivered either anything (Exalted 3rd edition) or what they originally promised (Star Citizen).

The next day I got my doublesix dice so, while a bit late, that was a SOLID kickstarter. The dice, which are D12’s with D6 dots on them, are cool and should save the Talisman boards from the harsh pockmarks that my 2nd edition board has all over it (and other games). If these come out in stores, you should get some.

Secondly, after three years, my copy of Moongha Invaders suddenly arrived! Again, this is a Martin Wallace game, so I was looking forward to it but after so long, you sort of don’t know what will happen. It looks great and the box weighs a TON. It also came with a couple counters for STUDY IN EMERALD, which is now on the must buy list… dammit.

I must say that these two kickstarters had solid communication to the backers, not often, but whenever there was an update it was clear what the problems were (mostly quality and production problems) that had been going on and what the delay was, in addition, CLEAR statements about what was happening next and mitigation plans. While I feel a little pissed that part of the reason Moongha was late was because Wallace was moving to New Zealand, he told people that was what was happening and so I really can’t fault the man. The kickstarters for both of these likely started as a labor of love and then it was a terrible, terrible grind.

So great surprises!

Lastly, while I was putting up my short bit on Star Citizen, The Escapist was busy on a series of articles about not only how FUCKED people are thinking this kickstarter is, but quotes from ex and current employees who KNOW it’s fucked. In addition there is a rebuttal from the lead designer (the Wing Commander guy). I backed this thinking it would be a modern version of Freelancer, but alas they tried to do far, far too much.