New Samurai Shodown character!

And we are on to season 2 DLC for Samurai Shodown. This is a NEW NEW character, not just one of the old ones coming back and it’s a bit odd. I’ve been happy with the choices so far, despite the last set of characters getting too into the waifu region, especially with Iroha.

So this guy is a knight. He unlocks tomorrow so I haven’t gotten a game with him yet, but will as soon as possible. Unlike samurai swords, the European longsword is much more of a club you can stab with. Extremely well made (never discount the Europeans for their steel forging– they were amazing) but not really for cutting bodies in any subtle way, Knights would brute their way in combat, using the pommel, punching and using the heavy sword as a club mostly vs other armored enemies. With that, I’m curious how this guy fights.

While I would like to see many of the old characters come back (Sieger, Gen-An, Caffeine Nicotine, etc.), Darli Dagger was brand new to the series and she has grown on me a ton– a big-hit female character in games is pretty rare!

Dead CCG update, 2020

The 90’s CCG splooge brought many terrible games trying to cash in on MTG’s success. Out of the cascade of dreck came a few good games– some of which are supported to this day. I think I did this a few years ago where I went through the status of some of my favorites. The genre of multiplayer CCG’s is long dead as evident by Fantasy Flight (FFG) making Legends of the Five Rings two player only… bah!

Let’s start with the bad news:

Shadowfist

Shadowfist’s new kickstarter was supposed to start in Spring 2020. We have four days left until Summer and based on shadowfist.com and the reddit group, there have been no updates at all since Fall of 2019. This one may stay dead, which is sad because as a multiplayer CCG, it is the absolute best, including the theme.

Blood Wars

This sucked 2 player, but was significantly better multiplayer. I just check from time to time if anyone is going to rehash it from the dead as the subject matter is pretty excellent. Nope, still dead. Don’t discount this one if you find it for cheap.

Good news…

Jyhad / Vampire the Eternal Struggle

Garfield’s multiplayer masterpiece is set for a reboot (again). It’s amazing how this thing keeps going as post-Jyhad it descended into a complete mess of a game with horrifying degeneracy. It is quite fun with the right group and they are keeping this one going!

On The Edge

This is one of the pre-cursors to Shadowfist and is notable as it’s likely the only William S. Burrough’s inspired card game (or board game for that matter). Perfectly encapsulates the conspiracy-fanatic 90’s to a T and with my favorite CCG card ever made, this game is only sort of dead. A guy from Wisconsin put out a custom set of cards with permission of the original designers– which is really cool.

Netrunner

This game died, came back in force, died again, sadly as FFG had a great model and great support. This is the only 2 player game on this list. It was fun, but for me it’s been eclipsed by Keyforge because I can reach into a box, pull out an unopened deck and be taken for a ride for 4-10 games with people that have done the same. That said, this game is being kept alive by it’s fans, which is really confusing as apparently the license was in dispute between FFG and WOTC. It’s called the NISEI project and will probably continue for awhile until the people that run it realize it’s a LOT of work and no money– and there’s always the possibility that WOTC or whoever will totally reboot the game at some point, making all your fan expansions moot.

FUCK YES.

Rage

This is never going to come back as it was a fun, but not very good game compared to the others on this list. This is one we have to get some plays in at some point to verify the above sentence.

Good Sleeves

Usually I buy good sleeves for my CCG or TCG cards and shit ones for my board games… If I am going to sleeve a deck, that means it’s been played a few times at least and I’m pretty satisfied with the build. Or, if it’s Keyforge, it’s been in the top 2 in one of our home tournaments or just has an awesome name which is half the reason to play a deck. In searching for really good sleeves, I found these: Ryker clear matte. Seem normal right? Nope. They have a slippery side and a rough side which I had never seen before. The face of the card goes on the smooth side and you can tell easily if cards are on the wrong side when you shuffle due to the rough side. For Keyforge, you can face your ‘home’ card making it very easy to find if you shffle it into your deck just by FEELS. Highly recommended.

Cosmic Encounter Duel is out!

I have no idea how this plays, but am very curious. I don’t play a ton of 2-player games, preferring the 3+ for most of my board gaming, but of course, it has to be purchase because it’s Cosmic Encounter.

I LOVE the titles on the ‘attack’ cards (a few listed above). They should put that into every new version of Cosmic from now on.

More info.

Since all the cons are cancelled, it opens up ops for new cons

Like I said in a previous post about Gencon cancelling, this opens the door for new cons to spring up that are more nimble and maybe actually looking at the C-19 data from the CDC? And here is the first– Appleton, WI. Not sure on the date– will be based on the virus (a non factor pretty soon here it looks like) and local ordinances for health and safety. Get that cash up inside there! Thanks for the tip off SHINE.

Behind the Green Door – oh boy

This will be a rare post about a pornographic movie. Don’t really watch porn and if I did, well, read on.

Cannonball Run did this to me. There’s a scene where the Asian Team is driving through a boring area, one of them falls asleep and the other (played by none other than Jackie Chan!) throws a video tape into the dashboard VCR (remember, this was 1981 or so, this would be seen as amazing at the time). While it could have just showed scenes from any type of fuck film, it clearly shows the film’s title before getting to the almost nude part. The name of that film: Behind the Green Door.

I’ve constantly made jokes over the years using this film’s title as it’s much more subtle than The Devil in Miss Jones, etc., for a porno, as most people don’t know what it is and then go look it up on their phones to catch the reference. Someone that knows Cannonball Run well will really have a laugh.

While I saw Cannonball Run when I was a little kid, I watched it again years later when I became a big fan of Jackie Chan. At the time, there was really no normal way to see the Green Door, so I forgot about it. I made the joke to someone a few weeks ago and decided then, if I’m going to joke about it, I better actually watch this fucking thing: and it’s a doozy.

The film begins with some guy going into an all-night diner and meeting an older guy. In the first scene you may be asleep already as it shows a woman fixing up coffee and tinkling dishes for a shocking amount of screen time, fixed camera. Then the chef comes out asks about telling ‘the green door’ story and the guys reluctantly say OK. Then it cuts (fucking finally) to a girl driving a car with the top down while showing the opening credits. It looks like it’s raining as she has the windsheild wiper on. While this is likely a staple in all later porn films, the actress looks and is dressed a bit like Francois Hardy rather than in a bikini or something like that. Next there are these guys from the diner, which must be a flashback, talking at a table outside at a hotel about some nonsense with bananas, it makes no sense and after about 2 minutes I skipped over this part. Then it shows the very young and quite pretty Marilyn Chambers (who starred in David Cronenburg’s Rabid a few years later) in a cool hat sitting nearby drinking a beer. This is the lady from the car. She’s listening to the nonsense story of the guys at the table nearby. Then some music is playing. This goes on and on and on with some focusing in and out on the same shot to the girl and to the guy babbling at a table. fucking glacial.

Then it’s night and the woman is dressed up walking down some stairs outside. She gets grabbed by a couple of guys in a brown station wagon and taken away.

Next is some scene in a bourdois and a guy with a handlebar mustache crushes a football until it pops and then he leads the guys from the diner, now dressed up in tuxes and wearing masks into some theatre. The handle bar mustache man laughs after they walk away and sit down in the theater. This MUST have been the MAIN influence for EYES WIDE SHUT, certainly.

Then there are some mimes on a stage. That’s right, mimes. This is 10 minutes into the film. I’m going to skip to the important parts as there aren’t very many at this point.

The mime goes on for awhile and then they bring out the girl they stole from in front of the hotel, who comes out if, you guessed it, the GREEN DOOR. A bunch of other women strip her down and rub her… then the magic happens. A black guy comes out on stage wearing only some sort of white cotton chaps with a shell necklace and his face is painted up. The music switches to African drums and the guy prances around showing off his half mast-wang. Then there’s a sex scene which consists mostly of close up shots of the actors faces with a few shots from behind where you can mostly see the guys ass in those strange white cotton chaps. This goes on and on and then just stops.

Then they take the lady and put her on a harness swing thing and she jacks off a couple guys, blows another one, and takes a cock from another, all while on some odd swings. This, amazingly, gets the audience all horny (instead of falling asleep…) and they start having an orgy. This is where the film could have gotten mildly interesting, but one of the guys makes the mistake of shooting his load and, I shit you not, the film devolves into what can only be described as a psychedelic sequence constantly showing this one cum shot in different colors with different film effects with funky music playing for a FULL SIX MINUTES. Think about that for a bit– SIX FULL MINUTES. Even stoned off of your ass you would still get up the energy to fast forward this on your VCR– probably all the way to the end or even just rewind to the beginning and give up.

After this sequence, one of the guys from outside the hotel runs up and escapes with the girl, and then they have sex. The end.

I now have suffered through (most) of this and can, with a perfectly clear conscious, make jokes and references to the movie forever anon. Thanks a lot Cannonball Run for queuing me in on this absolute porno masterpiece.

1000 posts – RPG relinks!

Well holy crap I have 1000 posts on this blog. It’s over 10 years old now. I think I have three regular readers!

Here’s a bunch of posts that I found interesting or silly enough to relink here. There’s been so many updates to WordPress that many of these I can’t even edit properly anymore!

RPG Gaming

2009 – the year of ultra-complex RPG’s – This (and what came before) created the need for the OSR and, by extension, simplified story games. You could almost call this the Pathfinder/Exalted diaspora.

A poem about Runequest – probably my favorite post on this site.

A 13th Age Adventure – Not great, not terrible!

WFRP using Mythras – a useful article to start.

Lamentations of the Flame Princess Pocketmod character sheet. – I put a lot of time into this and we really haven’t played much since.

Forgotten Realms- something to be made fun of.

Gladiators – Runequest Style

Pathfinder -the final session

Carolina Death Crawl AAR

Early excitement for Exalted 3rd edition…. ….

Parent’s basement finds – I love these types of posts.