Pit People!

Fresh on the heels of my son deleting all of his Castle Crasher characters I wanted to post the next BEHEMOTH game– which looks like their version of Disgaea!

Behold!  (note if you finished Battle Block Theatre you’ll notice that this takes place directly after the ending… whatever happened to Hattie at the end triggered this…)

Saints Row how I missed you

SR4 last year suddenly stopped working on PC (my PC anyway) after a patch and after looking up stuff on the interweb tubes, there was no fix forthcoming so I uninstalled WITHOUT finishing the game.  This is sacrilege of the highest order.  After uninstalling both Total War Attila and Planetary Annihilation (review forthcumming), I have space on my SSD for SR4 again, and am back on that motherfucker for real this time.  The number of costume packs for about 2$ has exploded and the full-size expansion GAT OUT OF HELL which likely reveals the return of Johnny Gat who died in SR2, is waiting pedestrian abuse.

If you have this and want to go MULTI, let me know you mraakers.



Finished Battle Block Theatre!

It came out when? Like 3 years ago? So this is not a big deal except it was accompanied by my barely 5 year old son.

Needless to say, this is one of the best games for little kids of the TV variety. It scales the challenges and clearly marks when things are going to get nasty so the kids know that they are in for some bastardo level design when they go inside one of the cat levels.

The humor is brutal and ridiculous. As the plot is a ruined theatre that has cartoon prisoners run through a series of death traps to the joy of an audience of fat-ass cats, it can’t be taken to seriously. Yet, while it’s goofy, the level of violence can be offputting for very small kids (like 2). By age 3 or so they will love the potty humor and especially the between act movies. One of the characters shits himself to death and the kids love that best of all.  They sing the songs, they talk like the narrator and it’s great– you just have to get past that it’s a ruined theatre that has cartoon prisoners run through death traps constantly.  At first my son would cry when he would lose (a cat level), but now days he just puts on his “LET’S FUCKING DO IT AGAIN” face.

While drastically different from Castle Crashers, BBT is amazing in it’s own right and does so many things dead on for a platformer. As a kid that was once so addicted to MEGA MAN that he gave up the chance of a hand job and the ability to cop a feel for a bit (age 15, so that was a HUGE fucking deal), I found the size of the guys on the screen and the overall aesthetic to be a great homage.


Guilty Gear XRD

From E3. This is not hand drawn. These are 3d Models. We have entered an era where the 3D 2D fighters look as good as the hand drawn ones. Just look at these guys! Some chick disgorged from the bowel of some monster and a kid that fights from a hospital bed robot. All I can say is holy shit.

Millia Rage Vs Ky.

Dark Souls almost broke me!

I get so little time to play games and Dark Souls is one that you really have to take seriously, especially when it’s trying to emotionally maim you at every turn.  The last few days I have been stuck in one single area and yesterday I almost threw in the towel on the game for good.

The situation is that you have to fight through some fairly tough enemies only to have to then walk up a series of ledges while under fire from some archers who have GIANT dragon killing arrows that will knock you off the ledge if you get hit (whether you block or not). You are forced to run between them so while one is shooting you from the front, another is shooting you in the back.  Then you must engage one of them in close combat without falling off the ledge.  All told, I think I tried this 50 times before making it through.  At try 45 I was like–fuck this game forever.   My last ‘stuck’ point was the first Capra Daemon which is understandable for me since it’s a boss and all. Those are SUPPOSED to be difficult.  This is just… some area in the game.   Praise the fucking Sun I got through it and on to what I’ve heard is the most difficult boss fight in the game…

People have even made artwork of this area...
People have even made artwork of this area…

I got to play YOMI!

I’ve had my eye on YOMI, a card game that emulates video game fighting games in paper form for awhile now.  I initially assumed there was no way anyone could make an actual fun game out of this.  From experience as I’ve tried two of them from the olden days (Video Fighter [below] and Heavy Gear) as well as the goo,d but too simple, Brawl.

Circa 1994- do you remember it? Likely not.

YOMI is available to play online and I gave that a go and it was just OK, it piqued my interest further, but I didn’t think it was all that great from playing the online version, which is exactly the same as the card game except you can’t read the cards.  You can technically read them, they just aren’t the focus of the game enough compared to when they’re in your hand.  This is huge detriment for a new player because I can say after playing the physical game that YOMI is absolutely superb at pulling off what it’s trying to do and it’s not well represented in the online version since the cards are small and not in your face.  So if you are going to give it a try, I would recommend playing with pieces of paper first.

The core mechanic, well it’s just rock paper scissors between Throw, Attack and Block/Dodge.  Seems simple?  It’s crazy complicated.  The rock paper scissors part is just the most basic mechanic. You play a single card each turn. Based on what you played and your opponent has played you can possibly play more cards to combo, extra defense, etc. and this is where the game gets crazy and the rock paper scissors mind game turns into a mechanic that works brilliantly instead of putting you to sleep as it should.  Each character deck that I’ve seen (played about 6 of them) plays very differently.  Some characters are good throwers, some rush down with tons of small attacks and combos and others  set you up for a big hit the whole match.  After just a few plays, one notices the huge depth of the game.

Hand management is huge, card flow is huge, and knowing when and where to lay down your big combos is something that will take hundreds of games to master.  I am simply shocked that someone was able to pull this off and do it so brilliantly.

yomiTrogAs a game, once you have a single deck of one character, you can play– forever.  That character likely will never get any other cards you can buy (unless there is a team fight expansion that changes out cards) so if you just want one character to play, your cost of entry is 12$ and never anything else.  You could enter a tournament and win and be a champion with just that 12$ spend as YOMI is not about buying up cards and making decks like Netrunner or Shadowfist then playing, it’s about learning a character completely, just like a fighting game on the boob tube.

I’m not a huge fan of the art– it looks sort of like knockoff anime to me rather than the real deal, which Video Fighter and Heavy gear also had issues with. The overarching brand is ‘fantasy strike’ so it seems like the characters in the game are in some sort of Lodoss War style world. And a Panda? I guess… again, a minor quibble, especially since many of the characters are really awesome looking— they’re just not Last Blade 2 awesome.

Those of you physically near me, trust that you will be coerced into playing despite your hatred of fighting games.

oh god…Saints Row 4….

Obligatory post here.   The boys from Champlaignge Illinois have really upped the ante of crazy sit.   If there were any illusions about GTA being worth even looking at compared to this, those are gone now.  I’m trying to stop myself from a pre-order.  I will not be able to.  The ripping on Mass Effect alone is worth it.  The video below already lists it as game of the year and it’s tough not to simply agree.